Wook the teacher? Knew I wasn't the right person (Read 209 times)

[thewookster]

I got a very weird email from my boss last week. Asking if I wouldn't mind doing some teaching at some Animal Welfare College.

Well I was like alright as your paying me extra to do it who am I to argue.

Anyways I got there on my first day yesterday with some rather beautiful species of frogs, snakes, lizards, spiders and scorpions and was teaching them the basics of handling these animals safely so not to hurt them and not to run the risk of getting bitten yourself.

They are trainee vets and with the influx of exotic animals into the UK they thought it would be best for them to get some hands on experience of handling exotics.

Well I started off on the snakes because I love snakes and thought "hey, maybe they will love them too"

How wrong was I. I started off on one of my own personal corn snakes a classic morph called "maximus" I took him because he is not aggressive, a fair size and likes being handled.

So this bloke comes up cool as you like handles him, and everything was going great considering it is his first time handling a snake I glanced over to where I spotted someone opening up one of the "special" bags I used to transport one of the burmese pythons.

I was like what the f*** are you doing. He was like "oh it's alright I have a burmese python at home" I was like it's not alright it's my bloody snake now get the f*** away from it, but before I could finish the end of the sentence "BAM" the snake had struck his arm inside the bag and would not let go.

Everyone started screaming including the bloke who supposedly owned burmese pythons.

I was about to go over to him and release the snakes mouth from his arm when I saw his arm raise to give the snake a good whack.

Now there are some things the wook tolerates and hitting one of his precious animals is not one of them.

I grabbed his hand while it was in mid air and threatened to shove him in the bag with the snake and tie it up.

As I was saying that the head of the college stormed in demanding to know what all the noise was and why I was threatening her students.

I tried to explain but she wasn't having none of it. I released the snakes mouth off of his arm and with a good amount of blood pouring on the floor from his arm I was not very politely asked to leave.

I got back to work to put all the snakes back into their enclosures and I could hear my boss on the phone to the head and it didn't sound good.

He came out all serious and said "I've been asked to terminate your contract because you threatened to allow a snake to eat a student" Then he just started pissing himself laughing. And said he should have known I would be no good at teaching.

To be honest I thought he was going to say it had all been some stunt for some candid camera show but nope he believed my story and got an apology from the head of the college today after she monitored security footage of what happened.

An annoying day. And a prime example of why the wook should never teach ever again ;D

[swampy]

At least you did not bring a diamondback rattlesnake with you... Or one of our lovely brown recluse spiders..

[thewookster]

No, I don't deal with venomous snakes if they come through there sent to a different department at the other end of the country.

I have collected a mojave rattlesnake once on behalf of the RSPCA as they didnt know what they were dealing with, but only had a quick glance and quickly myself upon seeing what it was ;D

It wasn't rattling because it was so cold otherwise they would have had a good idea before calling

Someone had dumped it in some polystyrene box with holes in and dumped it in the river we got a call from someone saying there's a snake in some box can you come get it.

That had to be put down which was a shame had some infection from being in a cold damp environment for too long.