Jokes.. (Read 1,477 times)

[thewookster]

lolol

[millenniumbones]

There is this guy who wants to cross the desert. He gets a camel and his best friend dog and sets out on a journey. He walks and walks and walks, its hot, sandy, dunes look the same and he gets lost. He's been walking around for over a month and he is really horny. He is now afraid that he might molest the camel, so to avoid the sin he teaches his best friend dog to bite him every time he gets too close to the camel's butt. The guy has been walking now for over three months across the desert. He climbs another dune and sees an oasis. There is a tent and there is three very beautiful ladies in the tent. The guy gets so horny. So he comes closer and after the pretty girls greet him, the guy says: Would you please please finally hold this dog away from me, it won't stop biting me! 


An Irish tourist walks into a Welsh pub. He sees a man crying in his beer. So the tourist asks Whats wrong? And the man says: Did you see that wheat field just outside the bar? I planted it but do the villagers call me Joe the Farmer? Did you see that boat at the dock? I built that boat myself but do they call me Joe the Fisherman? Did you see that church on the hill? I donated the money for its construction, and its the most beautiful church in this country. But do they call me Joe the Good Neighbor? You f*ck one sheep and they call for Joe the ...

[swampy]

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other
in a bar.

He gives her a quick glance and then looks down at his iWatch.

She notices this and says, "Is your date running late?"

He says, "No I just bought this state of the art watch and I was testing it, It uses Alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."

"What's it telling you now?"

"It says that you're not wearing any panties!!"

The woman laughs and says, "Well it must be broken, because I AM wearing panties!! "

He says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!! "